Throw some D's on that bitch!

Maaaaaaaan, I musta taken the bus a trillion times.

I don't cycle, or have a car. I don't get lifts but I do live far. I get the bus, like everyday. Sometimes two times, each way!

Yeah since 11, I've been taking that city bus. All those years of intense bus ridding has lead me to this point. The point where I can now finally reveal some of the different characters that make up a London bus journey.

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Number 1: The paranoid traveller - This lady or fella will sit in front of you and continually keep looking around with a distressed and worried expression. They then go back to sitting normally. This is repeated every 2 minutes. They're not looking at anything in particular, they are just MAD! When they turn around and I'm looking forward I always just wanna say, "What!?". It'd be jokes.

Number 2: The seat colonizers - This cat takes up way too much space on the seat. They also like to leave their jacket on your 1/10th of the seat so when you sit on it they can pull it away and kiss their teeth. Note: If you can't kiss your teeth on a bus your nothing, so get practicing! You dun know Ima pro.

Another faction of the seat colonizers are the seat rejecters. These people will sit on the very edge of the seat next to you, even when there is plenty of space. When this happens its hard to not to question your hygiene. In most cases it's likely that's just the person's preferred perch. This character is quite rare it should be noted.

Number 3: The serial phone talker - For the whole journey this joker rabbits really loudly on their phone, sometimes in a language you don't recognize. When it's in English its rarely anything that deserves to be broadcast across the whole bus, so maybe that you can't understand what's being said is a blessing.

There are many other characters to be found, but that's all for now.